One common fear for most of us is vulnerability. We don't want to take a chance, possibly fail, and then have anyone see our failure. We don't want anyone to know about our mistakes, or our bad thoughts, or our shameful behaviours, or our insecurities,
or our deep dark secrets. We also don't want anyone to see how we're different (we very rarely let our freak flags fly high). We believe that if we share our vulnerabilities and get rejected, it will mean we are not worthy.
And if we happen
to get angry or frustrated about something, we need to prove that our anger is justified. We don't want the shame of being angrily wrong. And so to prove we're right, we vehemently justify, defend, and reason. We look for like-minded supporters, and we dismiss
any other possible views. We have to prove we are right, to prove we are worthy.
And invariably, because most of us take our "shameful" thoughts seriously, we try to hide them, and we try to numb them (forget about them) by drinking, taking
drugs, eating, watching TV, being very busy, or any other distracting behaviour (which we often end up feeling bad about too). We're trying to "forget" the shameful beliefs that we are somehow broken and not worthy. And in doing so, we also numb ourselves,
and distance ourselves from our connection to others.
With an understanding of what the Three Principles point to, we see through the illusion of all this crazy thought (and to be exact, the illusion of ALL thought). We realize the fallacy
of all our judgments, beliefs, perceptions, fears, shame, and insecurities about anything (including ourselves and others).
And it's not that the bad thoughts and feelings stop popping up in our minds (that's just a "human" thing that
we have no control over). But when they do, we realize they're just made up, and so we can more easily let them go, and more easily deal with them.
And although some fears may still feel scary, we can face them. And although vulnerability
may still feel uncomfortable, we can lean into it. We see the freedom in facing fears and exposing our soft underbelly... the freedom of no concern or worry about failure, no need or pressure to hide anything, or to be anything except our authentically, imperfectly-perfect
We realize that everyone is "imperfect", everyone has crazy fears, thoughts, and insecurities. And since everyone is imperfect, everyone is also worthy.
And in that freedom to be ourselves, and see that
imperfectness and worthiness in ourselves and others, we get to experience true compassion, forgiveness, and unconditional love. We get to see and feel our real human and spiritual connection with everyone. And we get to see and feel the innate wellbeing that
exists within all of us, that we can rely on, that always has our back, that tells us we will always be perfectly fine no matter the outcomes or circumstances.
And so maybe vulnerability isn't so bad after all.
thoughts about this were inspired by this TED Talk by Brene Brown...