I don't know about you, but I make up a lot of stories in my head. In fact, that's all I do, every single second of every single day.
And as with every single person in the entire world, I have access to an incredibly amazing 24/7,
continually streaming, never stopping, infinite, stereo, technicolour, thought machine. And interestingly enough, I tend to believe most of the ridiculous things that stream through this eternal (and often infernal) thought machine, just because I thought
And as eluded to, I actually have very little proof of the validity in anything that I think (and therefore believe)... I continually guess, speculate, propose, imagine, and ponder everything in my past, present, and future, conveniently
creating my own little unique universe of beliefs and truths and reality... All of which appears logical in the moment, but which I ultimately know with wholehearted certainty, to be complete and utter crap.
And despite the certainty in
my understanding (with thanks to the Principles), it doesn't seem to stop the thought machine from continuing to churn out its very best.
Today I got to catastrophise about what will be facing me back at work tomorrow after three weeks
holiday. I got to commiserate over my weight a few times during the day. I got to feel put out that Costco is making me switch to a new credit card. I got to worry about a variety of plans for my future. I got to feel pain and frustration from a nagging migraine
that is likely completely thought-produced. And I got to feel irritated and beat myself up over a variety of fears, insecurities, actions, and inactions.
On the flip side today, I also got to be thankful for getting a few things done.
I got to laugh over a few amusing posts on Facebook. I got to enjoy some pleasant conversation and joking around with my significant other. I got to spend a few moments appreciating some of the people and circumstances and experiences in my life. I got to
feel contentment from a client's improved well being. And, I got to feel briefly happy to give a little something, without expectation of return.
As always, when recalling my thoughts du jour, it seems to be much easier to remember the
crappier ones... As with real crap, they have an inherent stickiness, despite them being only a minute speck of the approximate 80,000 thoughts that come streaming through my head each day.
And as with every day, there was no planning
for any of these thoughts, and no logical or sequential order... They just came up, randomly and continually, as I moved throughout my day.
To be completely honest, I am often frustrated by the unrelenting reliability of this thought machine.
Not only does it seem to produce a significant number of "unlikable" thoughts, but it continues to do so, despite my "grand insight" <choirs of angels singing here> into how it works. How odd that I "know" the emperor has no clothes, but still keep seeing
his regal robes.
And then there are other times, such as in this specific moment, when I am completely amused and fascinated by the machine. When I think about what it does and how it does it, I'm staggered by the volume, stupefied by
the complexity, bewildered by the craziness, and incredibly thankful that I'm not the one who has to keep it working. After all, I barely seem to be able to "manage" the output, thank God I don't have to operate it... Literally!
with no responsibility for the output whatsoever, I wonder what stories I'll get to make up tomorrow?
What stories have you been making up today?