In my world, all my problems were because of me, and I was constantly apologizing.
In my husband's world, all his problems were because of the challenges of life. He believed that the world was inherently tough and that he had to
fight his way through it, and that he was a survivor. He rarely apologized.
Before the Principles understanding, neither of us realized how the other person experienced the world. We assumed we were experiencing the same thing, which created
the source of our arguments, and the confusion over our inability to reach common understanding. He didn't believe me when I said I didn't intend to upset him, because that didn't fit within his perception of how the world worked. And I couldn't understand
why he wouldn't believe me, because that didn't fit within my perception of how the world worked.
Neither of us realized how we had each made up our own beliefs, reality, perceptions, and expectations of the world. And neither of us understood
that none of it was actually real.
It wasn't until we came across the Principles and the understanding of the capacity for infinite thought, that we began to realize how differently each of us experienced the same world. When he first
shared how he felt that life was something he had to fight through, and I realized how different that was from my own perspective of "life was just life" (despite the suffering of my perceived personal inadequacies)... it suddenly made complete sense why he
rarely apologized, and why I never seemed to stop apologizing.
That was a pivotal moment for me in seeing even more clearly how differently each person sees and experiences the world, and how hard it is for any human being to even begin
to understand the seemingly incomprehensible behaviour of others.
And even with that realization, I notice that I still keep apologizing, and he is likely to not. :) But over time, I'm guessing that will change for both of us. And if not,
no worries, since we both realize how we're just making it up, and how our thoughts and behaviours in any moment are not who we are, and that there are so many other things for which we can be, and are, incredibly grateful.
So how much
more crazy stuff do we not yet even realize that we believe? Well, even with the awareness that all thought is illusion, we still live in the world of our own personal made-up thinking 24/7, so who knows what other crazy made up beliefs we'll eventually notice
and unravel, but I'm looking forward to finding out.