When I had my insight after hearing an explanation of the Principles, it came in the form of "Holy crap, every single thought I've ever had in my life has been completely made up"... I realized I was living in an illusion of made up thought... all those
stories that had appeared in my head about myself and other people and the world, were not the truth.
In a way, I realized that the perfection of my formless soul could not be affected by anything,
and so came the "freedom" of this understanding... If I never go on another vacation again, I'll be perfectly fine. If my husband were to die, and I were to be alone for the rest of my life, I would be perfectly fine. There isn't one single circumstance that
can touch or affect who and what I am at the core of my soul.
So now, I get to play... for me there are no more "shoulds", no more "have tos", no more of my previous lifelong and relentless habit of beating myself up over never being enough.
I can pay attention to and believe any of the craziness that appears in my head, or not. None of it matters.
Now, despite knowing this, there is also the truth that I have absolutely no control over my thoughts. And for whatever reason,
my cheeky little soul still loves to serve up all sorts of incredibly believable ridiculousness (insecure thinking) about what I should be doing, or that I'm not enough, or blah, blah, blah.
BUT... now I know what's going on behind the
curtain, and so I am a lot less affected by what appears on the stage. I kind of get to just watch it all, and be incredibly amused and amazed... and I get to cry, and smile, and freak out, and jump for joy, and get irritated, and feel grateful, and be judgmental,
and be compassionate and loving.
All of it is just my experience, and not at all who I am.