I've had a variety of physical health issues over the last few years (nothing critical... although I do expect to eventually die some day 😉), and it has been fascinating to notice my experience
of it all.
Whenever my relationship with the pain or discomfort shows up as resistance, impatience, frustration, confusion, anger, anxiousness, or depression, the experience of the pain feels amplified and tends to last longer.
Whenever my relationship with the pain shows up as gentle awareness, curiosity, acceptance, neutrality, or humour, or when it's not on my mind at all, the pain is less (sometimes nonexistent) and it tends to pass by more
It's kind of a subtle game that my thoughts and feelings play between wanting to control the pain in some way VERSUS simply navigating the appearance of the pain in whatever way makes best sense in the moment. The pain and action
could be the exact same for both ways of playing the game, but it's the underlying understanding and thought-created story in the moment that informs my moment to moment experience of it.
For example, taking a pill for a migraine because
I desperately want to get rid of it, versus taking a pill for a migraine because it occurs to me as the best remedy in the moment, are two completely different experiences.
I don't see myself as in "control" of any of this, in that the
energy of life is much bigger than I can ever fathom... there's no real way to fully comprehend the infinitely complex systems of life and the human body, let alone the working mechanics of our thoughts and feelings.
I've also noticed
that no specific action has ever led to any consistent result, and what leads to any specific result is always an incomprehensible amalgam of all the complexity. However, there's something incredibly powerful in appreciating just that.
world and life and body I experience is exquisite and beyond wonder in its ability to function and create, despite all of the perceived resistance and interference... or perhaps in light of it? Whenever I fall back into the felt embrace of understanding that,
peace always appears, even when the pain is still present.