3P Random Reflections Blog

Judg-Mental
It happened a few weeks ago.
 
ME, LAMENTING: "Oh, there I go again... I am sooooooo judgmental!" The word judgmental was articulated with three, slowly emphasized, syllables.
 
RICK, COMMENTING: "What kind of mental are you?"
 
We both laughed... and laughed... and laughed.
 
It now continues to be a daily source of amusement for the two of us, noticing how much we slip into our habitual negative (or even positive) perceptions of other people's behaviours or choices... innocently attaching and interlocking people's -temporary doing- with their intrinsic -permanent being-.
 
Often the judgment just happens in the silent narrative in my head, but now on the occasions when it has been voiced out loud, and Rick has noticed, he has cheekily repeated his revelatory catch phrase... "And what kind of mental are you being?"
 
And then we both laugh again.
 
Fortunately, so far, I've mostly been in a lighthearted mood when he has said that, so it's been good for another chuckle. I'm not sure yet if I want to try this phrase out on him. I sense it could be dangerous. I will call that my inner wisdom. LOL!
 
I have lots to say about judgment.
 
It's been on my mind for a few years now. It's such a slippery and often invisible slope.
We voice our displeasure with someone else's behaviour. We truly believe we are on the right side of things and they are clearly on the wrong side. It's obvious!
 
What we may not notice is...
...the tension being created within our own body
...the inevitable complexity and fluidity of the situation being reduced to right or wrong
...the behaviour-as-identity that we are ascribing to another human being's intrinsic worth
...and the subtle sense of our own worth being greater...
 
"How could they do that?!" "I would never do that!" "Look at what they're doing!" "How dare they!" "They are so (put adjective here)!"
 
In contrast, there's a significant difference between judgment and observation.
Judgment slams down the gavel... "YOU are guilty!"
 
Observation is curious to learn more.
 
Judgment definitively reduces the behaviour to ONLY right or wrong, then works creatively, resourcefully, and diligently to defend its chosen side.
 
Observation considers the inherent complexity and mystery... it senses that there's more going on than just what's being seen or perceived at the surface.
 
Judgment protects the in-that-moment, fragile, fearful, insecure ego.
 
Observation reflects the enduring, infinitely-available wisdom of the in-that-moment, secure open heart.
 
Judgment creates separation.
 
Observation notices connection.
 
Judgment starts wars.
 
Observation starts discussions.
 
I began being more keenly aware of my judgments for going on almost 9 years now.
It first happened when, in an instant, I had a profound shift of going from fear to love, and experiencing the truth of what I refer to as "impersonal, unconditional love" as a foundational ground of being, no matter what appears on the surface...
 
...something I've been slowly (and sometimes painfully) learning how to navigate.
...something I've been learning how to manifest into my daily lived experience of this one strange and miraculous life I've been given.
...something I've been learning how to take from a realized "knowing" into an unconditionally observant "being"... gradually whittling away all my hidden judgmental protections that unknowingly obscure that ground of being.
 
I can also be judgmental of myself, including my own slow progress at incorporating that knowing into being... and where the heck do you go with that? LOL! (I've noticed that self-compassion, humour, and humility are good places to go to, whenever I can.)
 
And so, these forays into judgment are now being accompanied by more awareness and clarity. At least for today anyway! After all, who knows what "personal crazy" this human form will delight to gift me tomorrow?
 
For now, for today, for this moment, I think I'll just have a little chuckle about ALL of it... gloriously judgment-free!
 
With Love and Laughter,
Jonelle
 
(Photo by Sora Shimazaki)

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Latest comments

12.12 | 22:29

Thank you Lars! So happy to hear from you, and glad you enjoyed the reading! I hope to continue writing and sharing whenever inspired. 😊

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12.12 | 14:30

Hi Jonelle
Just stumbled across your website, love reading all your insights.
Hope you keep sharing. Thanks from Lars (all the way from Denmark

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05.09 | 16:09

Lovely to hear from you Sharon! And thank you for the question. This website has limited space for comments, so I hopefully it's OK to send you an email. 😊

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05.09 | 05:52

Hi Jonelle, just started reading this site-thank you so much. I have a question I hope you can answer for me: are emotions & feelings the same thing?

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