I eventually got everything sorted out, after asking 4 different strangers
for help... one who couldn't help me, one who could help me but decided not to because they felt they couldn't trust me, one who needed to know my story because I was somewhere I wasn't supposed to be, and another who was able to and did help me. I also ended
up going into a donut shop to warm up and to "steal" some napkins for my winter-cold runny nose, and I borrowed an item from an unknowing neighbour who wasn't home, and who I actually don't even know. All in all, I spent about 30 minutes in the cold trying
to get into the house, enough time for my bottle of water to become frozen slush, and my toes to start seriously complaining.
What was most interesting, was being
able to "watch" it all happen with the eyes of an impartial observer... to see the steady stream of ideas and thoughts and subsequent feelings that popped into my head... what actions to do next, the variety of unexpected roadblocks that required new actions
to be taken, and all the range of secure and insecure thoughts that came up during the process of getting home and getting into the house (panic, humour, embarrassment, appreciation, humility, frustration, fear, discomfort, etc.).
It also makes me wonder how different this experience would have felt without the understanding that every feeling I was having, had absolutely nothing to do with my circumstances and was
coming entirely from whatever was the random stream of thinking/feeling that happened to be popping into my head?
And it's not like I haven't gotten through tons
of big and little crises in my life before, but how lucky I am these days to be able to navigate through any event or circumstance with a much clearer understanding of what's creating my experience of it, and more awareness of the quiet whisper of
wisdom in my ear... "No worries, you'll figure out, you'll be perfectly fine no matter what happens, and isn't this all very funny?"